


sent up here to find you

by lawltam



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, Reincarnation, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:41:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24748525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawltam/pseuds/lawltam
Summary: Sylvain promised an eternity.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	sent up here to find you

**Author's Note:**

> no beta! had this idea while listening to a 3hr bgm video on yt so i churned this out in like an hour and I'm too impatient to wait and post it in the morning so here! take it!!!

They were always meant to be temporary. In empty classrooms, under the warmth of a Horsebow Moon day, when they held each other close in the comfort of their rooms, they’d always known that in one lifetime or another, it would all end. Yet, they chose to turn a blind eye, to live undeserving of ignorance, and to mistakenly don the pretense that they had an eternity’s life.

Even when times of war subsided and all that remained were blurred memories of a uniformed family, Sylvain had held Felix and pressed a chaste kiss to his temple. He had smiled and smoothed loose strands of Felix’s hair behind his ear, whispering words of a love that would last until kingdom come, of a love that would survive after their bones had long withered. Felix had smiled and asked to hear more, for Sylvain to drown out the insecurities in his mind, for Sylvain to distract him from the voices inside his head that sneered and jeered, _Everything has an end._

"As long as we are both alive, our deaths will be endless," Sylvain told Felix, bloodied by the blade of his sword, pinned to the ground as Felix sat on top of Sylvain, sweat and tears dripping down the sides of his face. Sylvain’s pale skin, once beautiful, was now scarred by wounds of lost days, when they were reckless and held weapons against each other.

(The first time he killed him, it was from opposite sides of a battlefield. Sylvain had all but fell from atop his horse and stumbled to his feet, mere yards away from Felix. The swordsman hadn’t offered a smile, nor exchanged the words of lovers long gone. Rather, he had stabbed him, under a slate of metal on his chest and pierced his heart with a dulled sword.

Felix had not cried. He had turned his back on the person who had promised him a life beyond infinity, yet never delivered. Why shed tears for a man too cowardly to hold tight his lover?)

Felix laughed— a sound silent and hollow against the dread buzzing in his ears. "But aren't you having fun? Isn’t this what you wanted? When you cursed us for eons to come, for us to ceaselessly kill and die and fall in love— " His voice broke, not too dissimilar in the way a heart would. His fingers, wrapped around the handle of his sword, burned; Felix longed to let it go, and wished that, if he did, maybe Sylvain wouldn't have to die. "Sylvain— " Felix swallowed thickly, trying to breathe through the heart lodged in his throat. "You wanted us to be together. Forever. _That's_ why you did this— why you made us the things we are."

(An arrow had sprouted from Felix’s shoulder and with it blossomed pain that bloomed like roses. Sylvain had smiled, eyes cloudy, and drawn his lance, poising it over the space between Felix’s collarbones. _What have you done,_ Felix had yelled, and the roughness of his voice scraped his throat and burned like fire. _I promised you eternity, didn’t I?_ Sylvain had replied, voice a mere hush among the roar of Felix’s heartbeat, before he had pressed the point of his lance into Felix’s skin, tearing it and watching as red stained skin.)

Sylvain smiled, and Felix’s heart jumped, and he wanted to laugh. Still, after all these years, the curve of Sylvain’s lips had Felix jittery and nervous. "But I love you too much for us to repeat this game again. I cannot bear watching you get hurt."

"Shut up!" Felix’s yell came out strangled and hoarse, and he dug his blade deeper into Sylvain’s chest. Sylvain let out a grunt of pain, then he raised a hand and caressed Felix’s cheek; he leaned into the touch of Sylvain’s cold skin. Against his own warmth, it felt like ice. “It’ll be the same as always! I’ll die too, and then we’ll meet again, and we’ll fall in love again, because we always do, because how could I not?! How could I _not_ fall in love with you?”

"My love, this is my final goodbye. There won’t be another life after this," Sylvain relaxed his arm, and Felix lowered himself with it, chasing the warmth of his glacial touch. "Truly, forgive me for all the pain I've caused."

Sylvain disappeared with the wind of dusk, carried by the gods and became a light, shining in the dark of the night. The blade of his sword dug into the dirt, and Felix shrieked, a wail so horribly full of anguish and mourn that even the stars awoke. His hands trembled (like they did, when Felix wrapped them around Sylvain’s bruised throat to churn out his last breath and snuff out his candle in that lifetime, so long ago) and a tear slipped from his eye.

"A curse," Felix whispered, impossibly loud against the silence of the night, "is a life without you."

**Author's Note:**

> if this had typos then pls excuse me I'm a sleep deprived idiot..
> 
> follow me on [twitter!!!!](https://twitter.com/akaaqshi)


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